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13 Jan

I should be sleep and I would be but I know when God wants to talk.  He wants me to let the world know what he’s done, how he’s changed me.  I spend a great part of day between amazement, gratitude and deep concentration on how to fulfill his Will.  How have I changed?

Well in July I saw something on Facebook that literally turned my tests in testimony, my trials into triumps and my mess into a message.  I shouldn’t be so surprised but I wasn’t in his Will.  I was still trying to go through my pain, suffering and misery alone.  I actually thought I could improve my life on my own

I bet he had a good laugh at that.  It was one day in March where I said God I’m tired of existing.  My days and nights were focused on me numbing my pain, frustration and lack of self-discipline.  It wasn’t fun.  I was literally dying slowly and I thought I was enjoying it.  I knew I wanted change but I couldn’t stop doing destructive things.

My body was already broken and I no longer had the want to move.  I was stuck on stupid literally.  The pause/stop button was pressed.  All I knew is that I was slowly letting my soul, spirit & mind deteriorate.  I stopped abusing alcohol but I was still miserable.  Determined to change but the roadblocks weren’t moving.

When I surrendered and let Him lead everything changed.  From August to today I have lost over 80 pounds and I can actually function.  I never thought it possible for my life to actually improve.  That’s when it came, the beginning of a life filled with an actual purpose.

How long had I been searching for my purpose? Well here it is and here I am. Changed & unapologetic for anyone who doesnt understand that there is no turning back.  Everyday I get closer to things I didn’t even know could be apart of my story.  He did it, I definitely didnt do all of this and it’s a lot in a short time.

You can read about tomorrow because I literally can barely keep my eyes open.
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Posted by on January 13, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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